Where the Light and the Darkness Divide
by LosingInTranslation
Summary: Sabbatical Fic… Sara deals with the fallout of Grissom’s departure. GSR


**_DISCLAIMER:_** Don't own anything associated with the show… I just like playing with the characters in it from time to time. Dance Monkeys! Dance!

**_RATING:_** K/PG (General Audiences)

**_PAIRINGS:_** GSR.

**_SPOILERS:_** Through 7X14 - Meet Market

**_SUMMARY:_** Sabbatical Fic… Sara deals with the fallout of Grissom's departure.

**_A/N:_** Beelzabunny Strikes Again! Okay, normally, I am not a SongFic person, but this one quite literally took over my brain. Many thanks go to the very talented artist that sang the song, as well as the writer of the song (Emmylou Harris & Leonard Cohen respectively). This is my take on the Sabbatical and my hopes for the end of it.

**_Acknowledgement:_** My beta has been a little overtaxed lately, what with all these blasted demonic plot bunnies popping up all over the place. So, to her I owe a tremendous debt of gratitude… I'm pretty sure it will also include some cinnamon from somewhere. ;)

**_REVIEWS:_** Reviews are the way I know if people are enjoying the work or not. So, if you leave one, THANKS! And if not, I hope you found at least a little something to brighten your day, and thanks for taking the time to read.

* * *

"I'll…miss you." That was all he said.

_Say a prayer for the cowgirl her horse ran away  
She'll walk till she finds him, her darlin', her stray  
But the river's in flood and the roads are awash  
And the bridges break up in the panic of loss_

All she felt was loss, but she knew that he needed to go. She knew that he needed to disappear. With those three words, he was gone. As he walked away, her mind also went with him. Following in spirit what she could not hold in reality.

_  
And there's nothin' to follow nowhere to go  
He's gone like the summer gone like the snow  
And the crickets are breaking her heart with their song  
As the day caves in and the night is all wrong  
_

Everything reminded her of him; everything said, everything thought, everything seen. Hearing a cricket one night made her think of him, and she had to excuse herself before anyone saw the glassy tears that began to fill her eyes.

_Did she dream it was he who went galloping past  
And bent down the fern broke open the grass  
And printed the mud with the well hammered shoe  
That she nailed to his speed in the dreams of her youth_

She fought the urge to get up and find him, so she played it out in her mind, leaving her wondering what was real and what was the dream. The dream was where she wanted to be, but she still knew that he needed to go.

_And although he goes grazin' a minute away  
She tracks him all night she tracks him all day  
And she's behind to his presence except to compare  
Her injury here with his punishment there_

She hoped that he was finding the peace that he needed, the perspective, the will to go on. She had felt him slipping away from everything, even before he left, so she was not really surprised by his decision.

_Then at home on a branch on a high stream a songbird sings out so suddenly  
And the sun is warm and the soft winds ride on a willow tree by the riverside_

There were little things that brought her comfort in his absence. And there were others that continued to confuse her. A chrysalis on a branch would have been a wonderful gift, had it been accompanied by even the smallest of notes. But by itself? It was another puzzle she was not sure she could ever decipher. She wondered if that was what it was supposed to be; a symbol of his constant mystery.

_Ah the world is sweet and the world is wide  
He's there where the light and the darkness divide  
And the steam's comin' off him he's huge and he's shy  
And he steps on the moon when he paws at the sky_

Every day she wanted to get on a plane and find him, bring him home, make him stay. And every day she reminded herself that she could never hold him like that, she could never hold him back. He needed his freedom, just as much as she needed hers. She could only wait, wait and hope that he would come back, on his terms, for their benefit. Any future they would have together depended on trust.

_And he comes to her hand but he's not really tame  
He longs to be lost she longs for the same  
And he'll bolt and he'll plunge through the first open pass  
To roll and to feed in the sweet mountain grass_

As the days turned into weeks, she knew that letting him go was the right thing to do. He belonged to no one, and neither did she. Their relationship was based on trust, unbound trust. And it thrived in choice. It had to be their choice to be together, and she did not want him if she was not the one he had chosen.

Or he'll make a break for the high plateau  
Where there's nothing above and nothing below  
It's time for their burden the whip and the spur  
Will she ride with him or will he ride with her?

When he appeared at her door at the end of the four week sojourn, she was unable to breathe, for fear it would send him fleeing. He looked to her like a frightened beast, ready to bolt at the slightest sound. She stepped aside and waited for him to make the next move, never once letting her eyes leave his.

_So she binds herself to her galloping steed,  
And he binds himself to the woman in need,  
And there is no space, just left and right,  
And there is no time, but there is day and night_

He took one step and closed the door behind him. Their gazes held together for what seemed like an eternity, and time stood still. She wanted to reach out to him, hold him, tell him everything she had been thinking, but none of that mattered any longer. He closed the distance between them and left no space, not even room for a wisp of air. It was a silent promise shared between two people.

_Then she leans on his neck and whispers low, W__hither thou goest I will go.  
And they turn as one, and they head for the plain.  
No need for the whip oh no need for the rein._

All doubts were shattered in the moment of their embrace. Every question was answered in the strength of his arms. Every worry was washed away with the tears that mingled on their facesEvery hope was carried in the beating of their hearts._  
_

**BALLAD OF A RUNAWAY HORSE  
(Leonard Cohen)  
**1989 Sony ATV Songs, BMI

Recorded by Emmylou Harris on her 1993 album _A Cowgirl's Prayer_


End file.
